Fueled by Sarcasm, Complex Carbs, and Pure Spite.
Wear your standards. Rep your hustle. Eat better cookies.

My credentials? I can silence a classroom with a look, deadlift twice my body weight, and emotionally detach from a soufflé. This collection is for those who find therapy in the weight room, the kitchen, and the deep, deep well of cynicism that teaching provides.

Our tees aren't just merch—they're a statement. A lifestyle. A rebellion against corporate cookie culture and a celebration of everything we stand for: premium ingredients, zero shortcuts, made-to-order excellence.

Whether you're lifting heavy, fueling your hustle, practicing cookie therapy, or repping your dealer, we've got a tee that speaks your language. Wear it as a badge of honor for the gloriously over-qualified.

Bold designs. Premium quality. Unapologetically delicious.

2nd Job Bakery - Cookies that work as hard as you do.

Get Your Gear:

Lift-Wear

For the gym, the bakehouse, or aggressively folding laundry.

• LIFT HEAVY, EAT COOKIES - Because balance is lifting heavy things and eating delicious things. No apologies.
• FUEL YOUR HUSTLE - Your multi-hyphenate life needs premium fuel. Corporate cookies need not apply.

Bake-Wear

Because flour is just protein powder's more creative cousin.

• COOKIE DEALER - licensed & legit - Street-style edge meets bakery pride. Rep your dealer loud.
• cookie therapy - Self-care you can taste. Wear it on cozy days and existential Tuesdays.

Recovery & Sarcasm

For refueling and reminding the world you have other skills.

All designs work here—because spite, sarcasm, and cookies go together like... well, spite, sarcasm, and cookies.

Shop the collection. Fuel your spite. Eat better cookies. Remind everyone you're gloriously over-qualified.